You’re looking for a dress. Or a top, or just a whole new ‘look’. You scroll through outfits online to find your fit. Or your color. Or price point. The options are daunting, the selections endless, until it sets in - there really isn’t much to choose from after all. Eliminate the garments for X body type, or Y color and then Z budget and you’ve narrowed it down till you hardly have a selection after all. You’re just so glad you found something that looks decent, and you’ll take it because you hardly have all day to sit online and shop - and the pasta is boiling over. Time to make a purchase and be done with it.
But wait. You forgot to throw in another element - coverage. Most dresses/tops/skirts out there are too low or too high (for some women’s religious or personal preference), and now you’ve just added a whole other dimension to ruin a theoretically pleasurable experience. No more. Now shopping for fashion has become a struggle and a stress-inducer. Maybe you shouldn’t care so much about how you look after all. Maybe you should just make do with what you already own.
Maybe not - because one thing’s for sure - there’s a simple equation that is undeniable =
If I feel yucky about how I look = I’m going to feel yucky about myself.
There was a time when I thought this made me shallow. So I denied it. Told myself I’m tougher, deeper than that. And it worked - for about a minute. But I kept up the farce for years. And when I faced up and allowed myself to care about something so “superficial” - I felt empowered and beautiful.
Instead of an equation that goes like this =
Skinny + skin + heels + labels = BEAUTY
how about this -
Flattering + feminine + EXPRESSION of SELF = REAL BEAUTY
Real beauty to me, means expressing what is in - letting it shine through, by means of creativity and self-expression.
I’ve spent a lifetime of 'people-watching', and one thing I can say with certainty that I’ve found time and again in my research (ahem) is that when a woman/man/person looks confident, self-assured and unself-conscious = that’s when I’m drawn to them. This is pretty much regardless of their "beauty", size, or anything else really. If they're happy with themselves - they can come in all shapes and sizes and still be attractive. And vice versa, times in my life when I was thoroughly enjoying myself, feeling good about myself, without a care or thought to what ‘others’ are thinking about me; I have felt a ripple effect in my social circles. Like a bee to honey there is something very attractive about someone with confidence in who they are/aren't.
"The flower doesn't dream of the bee, it blossoms and the bee comes." - Mark Nepo
“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” - Sophia Loren.
And maybe even - the complete non-materialistic approach is this - confidence and the ability to be CONNECTED with your inner guide/self = equals this thing we call BEAUTY. By definition it is not a THING to strive for, but a feeling; a glimmer of the light-inside-shining-through that creates a glow; an effervescence that has come to mean ‘beauty’.
When do you feel best about yourself, about life? Do you agree or disagree with the article? And if so, why? Please share in the comments below. And share this article with a friend! #beYOURkindofBeautiful