thoughts: be yourself

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself” - Coco Chanel

By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before” - Edwin Elliot

It’s exhausting. This need to be ‘like’, look ‘like’, have ‘like’, etc. This looking ‘outward’ instead of inward. Seeing yourself as lacking, flawed, instead of blessed, competent. If you’re having a hard time relating to what I’m talking about, let me ask you this - do you find yourself seeking parental advice (about anything from potty ‘training’ to temper tantrums), seeking fashion advice from magazines or friends, peering into the mirror only to turn away in disgust because you’re not what you ‘should’ be, reaching for food that you know you ‘shouldn’t’ be eating and feeling horrible about yourself, and in general feeling like everyone else has it all figured out except you? If you answered yes to any of the above, then a. you know what I’m talking about, and b. you’re not alone.

This has to stop. Wouldn’t it be nice if instead, when we looked at our reflections we saw a wondrous working body that is entirely unique and amazing? That these unique children were given to us and we have the tools we need - not anyone else? Or when we ate we made choices that are nurturing instead of punishing. That we loved ourselves (and each other) because of our differences, not despite them?

One of the reasons I’m determined to create this brand, is because I feel all of that applies to fashion for sure. There’s this assumption that women fall into three categories - Plus size, Petite, and model-esque figures. What about all the ‘other’ women. Are they supposed to feel inept and uncomfortable with their bodies? I really want a place where the clothes are so flattering (almost) any woman in (almost) any shape will feel and look great. Where a woman doesn’t need to spend hours searching online or in stores for an outfit that ‘works’ and flatters, where she’ll have a large variety from a brand she’s come to know and trust.

There are many, many brands selling this ‘explosive’, current concept above about loving and embracing yourself, and one of my favorites is Tara Stiles with her wonderful “Who made the rules” tagline. But the funny thing is, even when you find someone like that who inspires you to be “you”, the next thing you know - you’re become so enamored you (I) really find yourself wanting to be more like them. Kind of counter-productive now, isn't it? 

These days I strive to look OUT less, and focus more on what I AM, and what I think.  That I already have the tools I need to be a great parent to my own kids. That things can't be forced, only nurtured and allowed to flourish organically for true growth to occur. That my idiosyncrasies that I might not always like - are really quite cool in the scheme of things, because they define my uniqueness. So really, what I'm trying to say is - you should try to be more like me - you should be YOU, too. :)

Do you agree that there is a lot of pressure to be “like” whatever bar your social circles (or the larger social circles via the web) might set? I would love to hear your thoughts!